soooo. me and robert were in an accident this last weekend. We were coming back from san francisco and i was driving and robert was sleeping. we were 20 miles from truckee and as we came around a blind corner, there was a giant rock in the middle of the road. I hit it. the rock hit the transmission, causing tranny oil to cover my back tires and back brakes. The engine died and the front tires locked up. And i was fish-tailing at 70. By the grace of God i got to the shoulder and was able to stop. and i was also driving Robert's car. i was scared to look at him. i was scared he would be mad. in my life, when i mess up, i hear about it. and i hear about it for a while. robert just looked at me and just said he cant believe i brought the car all the way to the shoulder safely after that. i couldn't believe it. i wrecked his car in the middle of the nite, in the middle of no where and he was thankful that we didn't crash. infact he wasn't mad at all. then was the task of calling people at close to 11 pm for a ride from truckee to reno. and now is the process of trying to get it fixed. insurance is jerking robert around. and its frustrating. but with help of friends, we got back home and he has a truck to drive until his car is fixed. the auto-body shop told robert yesterday that if i would have hit that rock 3 inches to the left it would have taken out the arm that holds the wheel on. and there wouldn't have been much of a chance at all to control the car after the impact. Jesus was definitely there.
my heart ache right now is that my parents arent really there for me. i expected more from them. maybe its my fault for expecting help. before robert borrowed a truck from his friend, i asked to borrow one of their extra cars until Robert's was fixed. yesterday i dropped off pans that i bought for my parents (i got them for them because they didnt want to drive to reno) and the first thing out of my step mom's mouth is what makes you think you could borrow our car? they owed me $96 for the pans. i owed them $104 for a plane ticket to LA. my mom debated on calling it even. they didnt care that i was ok and not in the hospital. but rather it came down to money. and using their possessions. God forbid i need them for something like this in the future. I'm thankful for other people in my life that i can call family. im not looking for sympathy, or money or anything. im fine. me and robert are fine. i just dont think ive been this heart broken in a while. and it hurts. really bad. do i still go out of my way for my step mom? do i keep trying only to be hurt again? or do i just live my own life. and take care of myself? what makes family if they are not there to help you 100% ? Thanks again for my friends, and my church family. i consider you all my family. thankyou for opening your homes to me. for feeding me some nites. for listening and talking. its more than i could ask for. And God really blessed me with the family he continues to give me.
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2 comments:
I think you do continue to love, but you do so with boundaries. It sounds like your stepmom is pretty aggressive, and I think it's important for you to be secure enough to have boundaries with her.
I love you for the way you are always able to see the good in every situation. I always feel bad for you when you tell me about things like this, and I think you deserve better--but you already know that you have better in your friends and church family. Keep smiling, don't give her the satisfaction of getting you down! :)
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