GOD! hahaha

God is funny. God is sweet. God is strong. God is not fearful. I just wanted to say thanks to those that have accepted me as family. or even as a friend. I have a great circle of friends. I continue to thank God for new friends i can adopt into my family. :)

i have a few new favorite songs / artists.

SuperChick - Wishes
KJ-52 - Waiting for you
KJ-52 - Why

and thus is my life. :)

"The saddest thing is you could be anything, that you could want.
We could've been everything, but now we're not.
Now it's not anything at all.
The hardest part was getting this close to you
and giving up this dream I built with you.
A fairy tale that isn't coming true.
You've got some growing up to do.

*CHORUS*
I wish we could have worked it out.
I wish I didn't have these doubts,
I wish I didn't have to wonder just what you are doing now.
I wish I didn't know inside
That it won't work out for you and I.
I wish that I could stop this wishing and just say my last goodbye.

After all the things you put me through,
tell me why I'm still in love with you.
And why am I, why am I still waiting for your call?
You broke my heart, I'm taking it back from you.
And taking back the life I gave to you.
Life goes on before and after you.
I've got some growing up to do."


http://www.stlyrics.com/songs/k/kj527575/why1003959.html

A.D.D ---- my opinions only of course ----

soooo 12-year old boy goes missing in North Carolina. Hes missing for 3 days in the wilderness with near freezing temperatures and you know what the parents are conserned about?? He doesnt have his medicine for his attention deficit disorder......im serious....check out this quote. its from http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/03/20/missing.scout/index.html

---

Before reports surfaced that Michael had been found, Kent Auberry said he was concerned, but not overly worried that his son, who's been diagnosed with attention deficit disorder, does not have his medication with him.

"Michael has gone camping without his medication" in the past, Auberry said. "It's something he takes to help him primarily during school hours."

He said, "It's as worrisome to us as if he left his coat," but "we'd like him to have medication to help him focus."

---

seriously whats wrong with this world that we have to over medicate our kids to help them focus. lets just turn them into robots. for those in college or work, are you ALWAYS focused?? I have meetings every monday and wednesday yet i have a hard time every week paying attention. I think i must have adult ADD. TIME TO MEDICATE!!!!

I CANT BELIEVE HIS PARENTS WOULD COMPARE ADD MEDICINE TO A COAT!!!! seriously its like a fat kid on diet pills...."we dont know what she will do without her fat pills??!!!!"

and what, is he not going to be able to focus when a bear is trying to talk to him out in the woods?!?!?!!!

we are addicted to pills in this country. pills to make you skinny. pills to help you gain weight. pills to control your attention. pills to make you sleep. pills to make you awake. have we got too pill happy? man this makes me mad!!!

Lucky you!

im sitting here at work, and have a few spare moments so you get to hear some of my thoughts!!

God is really blessing me. God puts desires in hearts for a reason. I have been listening to a hillside podcast over and over. seriously. intense. (thank you louie for the podcasts! i love them) God has been sharing with me that He desires for me to be happy. Living a christian life for Him can still be fun, exciting, and happy. :) He doesnt want you to be miserable here on earth and then happy in heaven. Life is short why would God desire anything less for us than happiness?? complete happiness. :)

As i was driving to work this morning, it was dark. i thought it was prolly too dark for a sunrise, but God told me differently. He promised a beautiful sunrise. ok fine God. through washoe valley it was pretty, but not spectacular at all. i just dismissed the idea. By the time i got over the hill and headed down into carson, God painted the sky for me! it was breath taking just as He promised. :) i dont think ive seen such bright neon lines of orange and pink!

also, i think praying is built in when God makes you. much like crying. He was humoring me with days that i would pray (days with prayer were few back in the day). I didnt know God. I knew there was a God. i knew nothing about anything really. i knew there was supposedly an adam and eve. thats it. yet i would pray. i cant remember what i would say, but it would always be knelt next to my bed, hands pressed together, eyes closed, head tilted up. hehe. i dont know why, God, this humors me now. I sat and talked and He listened knowing i knew NOTHING about him! He just gave me the image of a child doing it because you are just supposed to, and it made me giggle. (almost out loud). hehe. how nice it is now to know Him. i no longer kneel at my bedside. i pray continuously no matter where i am or what i am doing. i love it when God teases me about something. it makes me laugh. its always in love.

i know when i first found Jesus. but i dont know when the first prayer i ever prayed was! do you? i really think it is built into us.

Thank you Lord for entertaining me. its a rough job, but someone's gotta do it! :)

seasons

We go through seasons of life. for me, this is exciting. i love change. i love new. i love moving. i love new people, new friends. Then there are always things that stay for seasons or for most of your life. im thankful that God keeps me guessing. He keeps me on my toes. I think it is important for each of us to "find" ourselves. My sister told me something like when you give yourself to Jesus, you're real self comes out. i think this is true. when we keep searching for Jesus, we find more and more of who we are. God made me to be who i am. He made you to be who you are. When we become Christians, He refines us. He doesnt change us. I believe that we have gifts from him. A tagger could turn to Jesus and become a great artist!! i hate seeing tagging around town because they are talented people a lot of times. and it breaks my heart that their talent is wasted on street signs and such. but anyhoo. back to refining. we dont define Christians by how we look or what we do. its the intentions. is on our relationship with Jesus.

Im still finding who i am. this is what i know about who i truely am. I love people. i love friendships. i love smiling. my laugh is loud and i rejoice in it. i love dancing. i love singing. i love worship. i love teaching people about Jesus. i love going out. i like a social drink with friends. i love when people can give me energy (sometimes i really need it). frowning is pointless. i cry when Jesus overwhelms me. I've learned its ok to be mad at God. He can take it. I've learned loving and laughing are the keys to entering into peoples lives. I dont like things extremely planned out. Im spontaneous. i go with the flow. i love road trips. even to the same places. its always different. im hardly serious. i believe this life is too short to walk around being serious. im serious about friendships. im serious about trusting God. i love my dad. i turn friends into family. i secretly want sleeves (yeah tattoos) but i'm too scared to do it. i love music. i love music. i really do love music. i have a hard time sharing real stuff with people. like problems and hardships. i can listen. but i only tell few about me. i love art. i love drawing, taking pictures. im a computer geek. im independent.

im still finding, how to let others take care of me. how to accept compliments. Where im going in life. who God will give me as a husband someday (in the far future....i think...lol). how to trust God that things i desire in my heart will be given to me in his time. a family, a dog, etc. hehe. i feel like i have to take care of people. so choices can be based on that. i have lots of questions but i know they will come in time.

i love seasons. and i love people. :) what makes you who you are? who are you?