prrrrraaaayer para mi

haha. and i bet you didnt think i knew spanish...ps, i really dont. hehe.

alright, so im giving in and sharing my "feelings". feelings that only Jesus and my best friend (here on earth!) know. ive never felt so close to God. and ive never had so many questions. heres a little about me. i really hate drama. if you have a problem fight with me, get it out and then we can be good again. i dont do the guessing game. 20 questions are out of the question. tell me how you are feeling and dont feel sorry for yourself in the process. i grew up following the foot steps of my dad. and then i was just one of the boys for most of my life. i have a lot of friends, but i still think im closer to the boys than the girls, with a few exceptions. boys can listen and be serious for a short time until the really work on making you smile and laugh. thats what life is all about.

soooo back to my feelings. I'm not on good terms with 2 of my best friends. and i need prayer. ive had talks with one, that seems to go now where. and the other im "talking" to tonite. I pray that we can both see eachother's sides and move on. i want my friends back. i hate serious talks. but when two friends are completely not speaking its dumb. im trying. i still talk, offer to have her come places with me, but she is stubborn and refuses to just talk to me. so it has been over a week now, and today she finally told me we need to talk tonite. shes hardheaded. and i doubt she will budge with her thoughts and ideas. and i will probably apologize to appease her and make things better. i have a hint of why she is mad at me but i really dont know. i just hate this drama

the other problem im facing right now is my actions. my other friend is trying to change me. and i dont like it, like most people wouldnt. my problem is i dont see a problem in what i do. i love dancing, i love social drinking. sometimes those happen at bars like pure country where i can dance and talk to tons of people and rumbullions where i can play bingo and talk and enjoy people. my friend thinks these are bad because of the people that come to bars. im aware, im not ignorant that creepy people go to bars, but im also aware of why i like to go. ive met friends at pure country. When i go there on the weekend, there is always a table of people that i know where i can put my belongings. where i can sit and chat. there are people that i can dance with. bands that like to share their stories and their hopes and dreams with me. i have a few friends and acquaintances from the bar. and more than not, i get to share my Jesus with people. you may think who talks about God and Jesus IN A BAR???? well thats me. One of my best friends Marissa i met at club underground. two weeks ago she came to church with me and plans on going everyweek (weather permitting!! haha). her parents may come down to reno sometimes too because the church they used to go to is not for them. one of her and my friends (that i met at rumbullions) is thinking about going to church because we both love it so much, it must not be all that bad. There must be something to this Jesus thing. Another lady tentatively offered me a job. guess where i know her from. a bar. we learn in church that church is where we go. why cant church be just living and doing what we do and sharing with God tells us to?? why cant i have church at a bar? because of the connotation? bar=alchohal=bad people=sin???? Jesus socialized with people. He hungout with people that werent "worthy" to step foot in a church. (who can claim to be worthy really?? i cant. i cant do something to deserve what i am given)

sometimes you gotta be silly. sometimes you have to just go out and have fun. i need to meet more new friends. im not ready to settle down right now. im not ready for marriage. im doubt if ill ever be serious. thats not who i was made to be.

mercy me song: "hope dont be a stranger, wont you help me make it through the day, then a voice comes calling out to me, youre never alone because i am with you and i will always be, and i will hold you because you belong to me"

thanks for reading. i owe you a cookie if you really made it all the way to the bottom... :)

faith like a child...

(remember its late, and i have a lot of thoughts running through my head, here are some of them in a scattered form. good luck)

who is God? How did Mary become pregnant without having sex? How did Jesus rise from the dead? How did he heal? How does he still heal. when i went to the dentist i had 5 cavities. when i went back to get them filled they only found 3 tiny ones. how did the others disappear and reduce in size?

im someone that is blessed with faith. when i say this i dont mean that i never have doubts. or a hard time grasping God. but i believe that the bible is truth. there is comfort. I believe that nothing in the bible is false. it is not a popular fiction book. i read a quote once "the bible is the most widely read fiction book". it broke my heart.

why is it that people can spend their lives searching for something to fill emptiness with (drugs, sex, alcohal, prostitution, gambling, tv, acting, cars, possession etc) and yet when the find God they start searching for more and more about God. Why when you hear about God dont you turn and read about budda?

the big bang theory. it makes sense. God spoke and BANG 6 days later there was the earth. seems like quiet a revolution to happen in such a short time period. no wonder there is no explanation other than bang it happened for people that dont believe in God.

why do i not cry when loved ones pass away, when i feel pain, yet at the thought of Jesus i can turn into a waterfall?

i wish that there was an easy button that would allow people to see my Jesus. I wish i could just tell them and just by the words they would believe in their hearts. when a child has a question, you can tell them anything and they trust it.

why can Gods own creation not believe in Him. there is no greater love than the love of our Lord!

how do you tell and show people your Jesus when they ask, and are seeking, but cannot believe? How do you know that God and the bible are truth and not fiction?

true family

soooo. me and robert were in an accident this last weekend. We were coming back from san francisco and i was driving and robert was sleeping. we were 20 miles from truckee and as we came around a blind corner, there was a giant rock in the middle of the road. I hit it. the rock hit the transmission, causing tranny oil to cover my back tires and back brakes. The engine died and the front tires locked up. And i was fish-tailing at 70. By the grace of God i got to the shoulder and was able to stop. and i was also driving Robert's car. i was scared to look at him. i was scared he would be mad. in my life, when i mess up, i hear about it. and i hear about it for a while. robert just looked at me and just said he cant believe i brought the car all the way to the shoulder safely after that. i couldn't believe it. i wrecked his car in the middle of the nite, in the middle of no where and he was thankful that we didn't crash. infact he wasn't mad at all. then was the task of calling people at close to 11 pm for a ride from truckee to reno. and now is the process of trying to get it fixed. insurance is jerking robert around. and its frustrating. but with help of friends, we got back home and he has a truck to drive until his car is fixed. the auto-body shop told robert yesterday that if i would have hit that rock 3 inches to the left it would have taken out the arm that holds the wheel on. and there wouldn't have been much of a chance at all to control the car after the impact. Jesus was definitely there.

my heart ache right now is that my parents arent really there for me. i expected more from them. maybe its my fault for expecting help. before robert borrowed a truck from his friend, i asked to borrow one of their extra cars until Robert's was fixed. yesterday i dropped off pans that i bought for my parents (i got them for them because they didnt want to drive to reno) and the first thing out of my step mom's mouth is what makes you think you could borrow our car? they owed me $96 for the pans. i owed them $104 for a plane ticket to LA. my mom debated on calling it even. they didnt care that i was ok and not in the hospital. but rather it came down to money. and using their possessions. God forbid i need them for something like this in the future. I'm thankful for other people in my life that i can call family. im not looking for sympathy, or money or anything. im fine. me and robert are fine. i just dont think ive been this heart broken in a while. and it hurts. really bad. do i still go out of my way for my step mom? do i keep trying only to be hurt again? or do i just live my own life. and take care of myself? what makes family if they are not there to help you 100% ? Thanks again for my friends, and my church family. i consider you all my family. thankyou for opening your homes to me. for feeding me some nites. for listening and talking. its more than i could ask for. And God really blessed me with the family he continues to give me.

my mini revelation....lol

so i blogged this on myspace and just thought i would copy and paste it over

what if i stumble, what if i fall

a new revelation.

what if you messed up in the past. what if you have sin in your life. what if you dont go to church? what if you dont know jesus? i think that there is a big change coming. i think a new revelation. its late, im a little sleepy, yet God has placed this on my heart so here we go!!

my friend katie's brother said it, and it cracks me up: katie asked him to go to church with her. his responce, "ill catch on fire!!". if you think condemnation is coming you are mistaken. if you are feeling condemned in your church, you are at the wrong church. Jesus came and DIED so that you can be free in him.

and know that when you do know Jesus, and you believe fully that He died for you and your sins, and you accept Him as your Lord and Savior, even then it is ok to mess up. im not saying to go out and look for it, but part of being a christian, is saying "hey i mess up and i need you Jesus".

if being a christian meant that you were gonna be perfect, then there would be no need for God. and then Jesus died for no reason at all. and the bible then must be completely false.

if you dont know Jesus, and are curious, pursue it. if your scared to go to church, come with me. i promise you will not be condemned. or judged at ALL. or pick up a bible. if you need one, come to my church once and grab one. or buy a cheap one at the store (one you can understand though!! there are different wordings/translations, and some are easier than others. i read NLT, New Living Translation) Talk to me with ideas! i love to talk about God!! its one of my favorite things!

going to church and pursuing Jesus, but still dont quite know him? keep looking. and reading. and talking. and know that you are going to mess up. you are going to sin. and remember that you can come back from that without shame, if you repent!! go to God with everything. know when you fall, Jesus is there to help you up. He's NOT there shaking his head in disgust (thats satan) Jesus is the best friend there for you through thick and thin. Good choices and bad choices.

know Jesus? this is where i am. dont feel shame by mistakes. they are mistakes. dont regret, repent!! regret only eats away at you. know that God gives you choices everyday, and it is up to you to choose them. when you choose wrong, go to God. when you choose right, rejoice in His guidance and goodness. Know that you need God! and know that He loves you more than anything else He has created! (this one is for everyone btw, he loves everyone this much!! even if you dont know him) look around at His wonderful creations, and know that He was 'pleased' with everything He made, but when He got to us, He was 'very pleased'!!! do not let the devil tell you that you have strayed TOO far!! too far is when you no longer believe in Jesus and dont accept Him as your savior anymore. know that God said "I will never leave you or forsake you". (hebrews 13:5) take that as truth. when He feels far He is closer than you think. He never leaves us. it says it in the bible!!

check out this site for what God says. i just found it and its kinda cool! http://www.mamarocks.com/guide.htm

impressionable kids and their parents

sooo most of my posts are out of frustration. i probably have blogged on this before but there is a lot that is new so check it out!

The kids at our church have the BIGGEST HEART FOR JESUS!!! Why is there trepidation with their faith in church?? It's like its the cool thing to be at youth and true worship can not be done. Is it because they dont know how? Or maybe they dont know why? Or are they embarrased? Im thinking maybe they dont know what it really means to worship. why do you lift your hands? why do you drop to your knees? is it to show others that you love Jesus?? no! its for you and God. Maybe those kids dont know what worship is. or maybe they dont know how to worship with others around. Alot of these kids live with people that dont believe their is a God or that Jesus is not our savior. And it can be hard as children to try to defend or to show your feelings about something especially if your parents do not believe the same.

another thing about parents and their kids is, dont you want to know who they are hanging out with?? Dont you want to know what they are learning? and im not just talking about what they are learning at church. what about at school. the devil uses good sounding words to decieve us. and thankfully a lot of kids are coming to us at youth and asking about them. i like seeing parents wanting to talk to me though. coming to youth once or twice just to see whats going on. what is Moses teaching? what are they being taught in the small groups? do you talk to your kids about what they learned?

I believe kids during the junior high/ highschool years are the most impressionable. this is the time where they develop main ideas. where they start to find out who they are. I tell the kids every week to question what they are taught. by Moses and by me. by anyone. they are sooo ready to take in and believe whatever. now is the time to teach them to read the Word. People can be wrong. the bible is right. even people of the church can be wrong (haha, believe it or not!!).

Change is in order. and change will come.

all eyes on you??

God's been talking to me...man has He ever!!! I wanted to share with what He is sharing with me, and its truely life changing to me.

I help out with youth, and i have quite a few friends. What God has been showing me though is I am to be an example. now you're prolly thinking of course thats what he calls all of us to do! but what i wasnt realizing is the kids i see every wednesday and sunday are watching my every move. they are listening to my every word. I think others my own age and older are too. There is truth that when you have Jesus in you, there is something different in you. And the curiousity makes people watch you. not in a way to try to find a flaw, but rather to figure out what it is you have.

God has got me thinking about the people I look to. sometimes it is friends like my friend Amanda. but there are also a few ladies in the church that I look up to. I find myself listening to them and watching what they are doing. they have that special Jesus thing. I cant help but think how disappointed I would be to have one of them really started to fail and go against God's word. (i mean in a big way too, i know everyone sins...and no one is perfect)

I've gotten to know some of the girls in youth really really well and I want to keep them in my life for years to come. I want them to come to me with problems or questions if they dont feel they can talk to their parents or like no one understands. and when they come to me with questions i want to be strong enough in my life that i can use my experiences as stories of strength and truely be a role model for them. It made me think, i need to watch my words and actions so that i can be an open book to those girls without any feelings of shame.

Similarly, i need to do the same for my friends. I recently had a friend ask me to pray for her because she feels the devil is attacking her. I never thought she would ask me something like that. it was nice.

Who do you look up to? Why? Who looks up to you? Who is watching you? I think everyone has someone they are watching and someone watching them. :)

customers and customer service

i love good customer service. and even more i love watching good customers recieve that good customer service. its a big one for me. its one of the reasons i love the grocery store raleys. today i was having sushi for lunch (me and ole' JC) and there was this lady next to me and she was the best customer. you could tell she was a regular but she was so thankful for everything. every piece of sushi she got she thanked the chef and told him how great it was. it made me think that people have to work. be thankful of their talents! some people can fix computers, some can serve food with a smile, some are grocery clerks can check really speedy, or others check slower but are efficient. remember that God not only put you in your job but also put others in their jobs! be thankful that they are there. let them know that you are thankful and show them the same christmas spirit as you show people you work with and people that you go to church with, or live with! love you all!! and i love christmas!!! :)

what dinasaurs??!

sooo a lady at work today asked me a question. (and i have to add she is a fellow christian. shes not a skeptic out to prove christianity wrong or anything like that) sooo the question: why are there no dinasaurs in the bible? they did exist. we have fossils. but science tells us they were on the earth long before man right?? but God created the earth and then man and then animals right?? where are the dinasaurs?? when were they created? when did they live then? hum...

alien attack

alien to me means foreign. and attack is brut force.

i want to start by saying im ok. im just feeling attacked. How do you keep faith when you cant feel Him. How do you stay happy and focused on Jesus when the enemy wont stop attacking you? How do you know what is from God and what are the devils lies? why can i not find Jesus although i'm seeking His face?

At youth i always tell my kids that if they feel scared all they have to do is say the name of Jesus and the devil will flee at his name alone.

now i feel dead inside. although i have been singing His name, and praying, i feel that He is sooo far from me. i feel like what is the point of me seeking him. I feel like im on the losing end of the battle. at the same time i know God would not allow me to go through this if i could not handle it.

i'm just upset that the devil is able to get to me. i have had allergies for months now. i finally get an air filter for my office. i feel great for ONE day. the next day i feel like im getting sick. i fight it, feel the best i have ever felt in months the next day (friday). i thanked God for such a beautiful day and a beautiful life. later that day i pulled a muscle in my back. had to go to the ER. doctor was a jerk. wouldnt send me home because it would have workmens comp. id never had so much pain in my whole life. they doctor was going to write me a medical release but the nurse told him he couldnt since i worked here at the hospital and it was workers comp. im not too proud but when the doctor came back to tell me that i told him to go to hell. and i was going home anyways. i told him about the pain and he didnt care. it was like i was making it all up. i was sooo upset. later that night, i couldnt walk, i couldnt move. i would rather have my whole other foot tattooed rather than have to go through that again. it was the worse pain i've ever had. (although i was released to go back to work). that was crappy. i just feel like no matter where i go or what i do, theres the devils works.

Jesus i need your healing.

somethings never change

Last nite was a good youth group i think! i got excited! Moses hit on the idea that the devil comes in and tries to lurge us with biblical things, such as scripture or just really inviting things. It was thought back in the day (and ironically some things never change) that wealth and power meant blessing. if you were poor or didnt have great power in the world, you were just not as blessed, God didnt love you as much. Hebrews 13:8 " Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever". Jesus never changed. the devil hasnt changed either. His ways are still the same and his tricks are the same! so why cant we see it right away when it is the devil? the devil and Jesus are opposites so why when something happens do we sit back and think "is this from God?" When Jesus was in the desert for 40 days and 40 nites, the devil came to him and took him to the top of a mountain and had him look out on the land and he declared that if Jesus submit to him (the devil) he would give him all that land, and Jesus could rule over all of it! What a great proposition to the one that created everything that the devil was trying to give him!! it also makes me think back to when Jesus told them about the Kindom of God and how he would be their king and they were thinking that it meant Jesus was going to overthrow Cesear, and then take over the world!! Great stuff right!?? it reminded me of today. there is this guy in Florida that claims to be Jesus and claims that they are going to rule the world! YAY! but quick question: WHY IF YOU CREATED SOMETHING, IF SOMETHING WAS ALREADY YOURS WOULD YOU WANT TO RULE OVER IT??? IT IS ALREADY YOURES!! and even funnier to me is the idea of, Jesus was there at the start of the universe. He knows how the earth is put together. He knows everything about every inch of the earth. why would He get excited about owning a rock?

Thank you Jesus for watching over your children and keeping the devil at an arms length. Help us to realize his ways, and to keep him far from us.

the start of a new life together

sooo this weekend my cousin got married. she is the first of us cousins. she is the oldest and only 9 months older than me. it was a little crazy to know that she is married now. i pray that her and her husband will be happily married, there are a few skeptics of course, but i think they will be ok! :) of course i am the second oldest i was looked to as the next one to be married. hummmm yeah not for a while!! :) lol. the idea scares me too much right now! lol. ok sooo. this wedding was fansy. man was it fansy, and i realized when i do get married, i want a huge wedding. when i say huge, i dont mean fansy though. i mean a ton of people. i want to get married somewhere where there is no limit to the number of people that come. and i dont want to spend my money on the wedding. make that part cheap and quick and skip to the party!! yeah that party is the fun and important part. its where you can dance and eat and talk to people! lol. seeing family was fun and crazy at the same time. sooo much drama, but it was great seeing family i havent seen in like 10 years. my family gets sooo confusing because there are people that arent acutally related to me that i claim as family and people that are blood related to me that act like the dont know who i am. one of my real uncles never even acknowleged me or my brother, when my other uncle, that was divorced out of the family embraced my presence! we had soo much fun together! altogether it was a success. it was a picture perfect wedding and a fun reception.

on a side note, work ordered an air filter and i get it in 10 days!! also, halloween is really really close and i have no idea what im gonna be!!! help!

made by God

this weekend i went out camping for my bday weekend. it was great and i had a blast!! a little occurance happened and i realized i am really self conscience. a few of you may be thinking, what no! not debi, but atlast it is true. ive been listening to this song by barlow girl called mirror and been thinking about this idea that it is not the mirror that tells me who i am but rather Jesus in me that tells me who i am. sooo back to the lake, i woke up early this morning and went out walking around. i walked a little ways long the beach and finally found a seat at a little point. while i was sitting there i was just admiring Gods beauty. the perfect lake, trees, sand, mountains, everything. God is amazing with the landscapes he creates. while i was admiring God told me a simple thing: "I CREATED YOU". it was breath taking to hear. I saw the picture of God staring down on me and admiring me over the beautiful scenery. how great to be admired by the perfect one. i pass this story along to others who are self conscience. remember it is not the mirror that defines you it is Jesus in you. and God admires us like we admire a breath-taking sunset, or a sleeping baby.....i love you all.

and i also want to say thanks to all of you for being my church family. i consider many of you best friends and all of you family. thanks for loving me with open arms and accepting me for who i am. with out such acceptance, i would not be as strong of a christian. thank you all!! xoxoxo

God bless!!

Lord give me the strength...

...I'm feeling hatred towards people, instead of love. I am hating my job and the people here. I'm doing everything in my power to leave early today. and i wll suceed. I hate people complaining (ironically this is me complaining). I hate people who are jerks to my best friends. I hate people who are fake. I hate people that are making my good friends feel bad by judging them!! I'm hating fellow christians who are judging. I'm hating rushing everywhere. Im hating that i just cant get enough sleep at nite. Im hating waking up late for work.

Lord i give you these feelings of hate and ask you to take them away from me. Do with them what you want, i dont want them anymore!!

doctors appt!

so i gave in and im seeing the doctor tomorrow at 245. prayers please for knowledge for the doctor and pray he finds what it is. i got a lot of people aware of what is going on and my bosses are having similar symptoms so that helps. i was gonna fight and make the hospital pay for my co-pay, but today i met with my boss (about something else) and he said to make sure the hospital pays for it!!! yay no fighting! so hopefully by this time tomorrow i will be with the doctor figuring out why im dying. please pass along the message i need prayer for the doctor to figure out what it is so it will help me and hopefully others in my office too!! thanks all!! god bless!!

a blessing

i just wanted to share in how the Lord is blessing my life. i love relationships with people. The Lord has blessed me with good strong relationships lately and im soo thankful. The first is my church family. You guys rock my socks!! (hahaha, totally stole that from one of the kids, cc) You are amazing and caring and truely family to me!!

next is amanda! she is my new best friend!! and its exciting! shes just perfect for me!! we have sooo much fun together and can talk about problems and pray together. i have a lot of friends but none quiet sooo like me, and i love her!! shes amazing! i love that we can go out together dancing, have a drink together occasionally, and still share a Jesus relationship! Thank you Lord!! :)

Secondly, i have a new boy friend. hes different than anyone i've met though, and he treats me like a princess. (which is a big change, im usually just one of the boys...which i love but this is special to me!!) I prayed a lot about him, and whether we are supposed to be together or if its best to be friends. God's responce, he is a gift to me. our ideas line up very well, and he is seeking Jesus. doesnt know Jesus yet, but is seeking him! :) and hes wanting to go to chuch and bible study with me and he loves hearing the stories i have about youth group and the amazing kids that i have grown to love with all my heart!! i dont know where God will take our relationship, but im excited for it.

i wanted to share this and how loved i feel by two people who i have only known for a few months or less. Love is soooo important and i think it is important to say to those you do love. i enjoy hearing that someone loves me, because i think love is wholeheartedly. to all of you who i know and have become my family and friends i love you and in Jesus' name, i pray a blessing for your day ahead! :)

perfect and perfect timing

last nite i went to bible study at karis house and sat with her and tiffany and katy. it was great times, we learned about the power of the tongue, but along with our discussion lead us to the idea that we are perfect in God's eyes and we are right were we need to be.

we talked about envy. i think this is something we all do. not necessarily in the form of "things" or "pocessions". one of the girls brought up the idea of envying peoples opportunities or lifestyle or relationships. know we know thats not good, but why? we wanted to know the why. it says that the tongue is a 2 edged sword, we praise God with the same tongue we curse man made in God's image. the words we say come directly from our thoughts, which in turn come from our hearts. we thought about the idea of your thoughts are really words to yourself.

ok, so at the end all this will go together (i hope). another thing we talked about is that we are perfect to God. everything God creates is good, and he created us. we are perfection because we are his creation. not because of what we do or our looks, because we are his creation. Tiff had brought up the idea from the monday morning church: God gave us our little quarks as gifts. our different face expressions etc. and he smiles when we use them. he thrives in our personality.

that said, an evil tongue brings death and evil straight from hell (im not trying to be sinical, thats what the bible says). your thoughts are what drives your tongue and the heart drives the thoughts.

so envy is indeed evil thoughts that you are not good enough. when you envy, you dont get what you envy, you only get bitterness. and this is not from God. good does not come from envy. also remember you are a child of God and you are perfect in his eyes. he made you, you! and he placed you where you are for a REASON! he didnt place you in someone elses shoes, he set a path just for YOU and no one else! and good things happen to those that wait.

so basically my main idea that God has been pounding in me lately --- you are special and perfect, flawless in God's eyes. and you are in the perfect place in your life. as hard or "unfair" as it seems, it is your PERFECT place right now!

and that, ladies and gentlemen, is my ranting for the day! :)

needing prayer!!!

ok, i need some help. i need prayer for health. i dont have allergies. but at work im allergic to something! and i dont know what it is! so there is a department here at the hospital called "infection control" and they deal just with the health issues like this at the hospital and stuff. i called them and they are doing carpet samples and air samples to see what it what is wrong. i start my day with benedryl and afrin and asprin. then the benedryl takes a little to work and once it is working it makes me drowsy all day! i have to get something else that wont make me tired, but the point is i need prayer that this will be solved. right now i just hate coming to work, only to feel like im dying and sick. and i sit and fight to stay awake during work, (only taking one benedryl too but it kicks my butt!!) and its freezing today. but i have a sweatshirt and a blanket!!! :) please pray that they find out what is wrong down here. other co-workers are having the same thing so i know its not just me. i just cant work like this anymore. i wanna go home after like 15 minutes.

like a brother...

lol. i love my life. i love the love Jesus gives me everyday through others!!!

so yesterday i raced!! first race ever. i missed monday morning church and i was sad about that, but racing was a lot of fun! it was out in yerington, and just like a big family race and they welcomed me with open arms! it was barrel racing and for those that dont know it is usually done with horses. there are three barrels and you have to go around each one as fast as you can. horses do this in around 17-18 seconds. me....well my fastest time was 24. which was good though!! still faster than some guys though!! and i got a tee shirt for being the fastest girl...yeah its pink,,,and yeah its my first pink shirt and i got it from racing!! lol.

so i went with my friend mikey and his brother. mikey told me i was like a brother to him! lol. we were fighting. i lost. got my gear all dirty. when im out riding. im one of the boys, and its fun. i pray God uses me in racing.there are actually a good number of racers who are christians, but there are also alot that arent. i hope God uses me to show people who he is. (on a side note -- there is a few races that start with the national anthem and then a prayer before racing -- pretty cool)

random thoughts....

so last nite, i was just sitting and thinking...and driving....anyways: i thought it was interesting how some peoples nervous tendencies are the same as when they are really comfortable with a person....

lemme explain my random thoughts. when i get nervous (yes it does happen!!) or just uncomfortable, i start talking -- randomly too, usually incoherent talking. similarly, when i know some one really well, i talk and talk usually making no sence. if its in the middle, i dont ramble quiet as much. i thought about those people that are quiet, how they are quiet when they are nervous, and when they get super comfortable with a person they can sit in silence with that person and love it. silence for me kills me! lol.

so thats my thoughts for today.

also on a separate note: i want to sincerly thank everyone for their kindness in our church. i prayed my graditude last nite and college group, but i want everyone to know how thankful i am that we are a loving accepting church. i really believe we are a good example of a Jesus church family! love you all with all my heart!!

my happy heart!!! thank you Jesus!!!

today was amazing. it really was. i was doing the powerpoint for church and i love doing it because i get to see everyone and its great!! today church was just filled with the holy spirit!!! worship was amazing. Gods blessed me soo much in my life, i dont even know what to do but give it to others. now, let me be the first to say that im a pretty tough girl, i dont cry (even though i know i prolly will when i get my tat....but i digress) today, i cried. there are these 3 girls at church and they are amazing and sweet. i love them with all my heart i really do. well today i met mom and dad, and mom just gave me a hug and said that i was such a blessing to these girls and how highly they think of me, and just how thankful they are for me...dad hugged me and told me i was a blessing and thanks...wow. i never even thought i was touching a family in that way. it made my heart sooo joyous the tears came rollin down!! thank you Jesus for the love you have given me so i can give that away to others!!

you guys, i have to say i love our church. one of my friends has been coming lately, and he has (like many many others) been hurt in church before. tonite he told me and amanda that the first time he came he was a little nervous since he hadnt been for years, but went, and felt unbelievably welcomed! thank you Jesus. he was scared of judgement and was confronted with love! he loved louies message, and the realness of him. thank you Jesus. i really wanna say though, louie can stand up there and give the best speech in the whole world but it is still the church as a whole that really makes the impression. today another friend came with me too. she hadnt been to church in a long time too. hurt also. worship touched her heart so much she cried. (and shes tougher than me!! lol) she wanted to know more about things i do with the church. what this idea of bible study was, and it was great to tell her all about it! she'll be back soon enough and thanks to those that showed her love too. its so nice to see it. i love you all. i love that our church is a safe place overflowing with love.

well its late and i work early so i think its time for bed.... but before i do, thank you all, you are all blessings in my life and thanks for the power to give me joy. everyone of you do! In Jesus' name i pray a blessing over our church family and those we touch. In Jesus' name i pray for joy and love for the week ahead, and i thank God for all the love we have and have given away. Thank you Jesus, it is in your name i come everyday. Amen.