all eyes on you??

God's been talking to me...man has He ever!!! I wanted to share with what He is sharing with me, and its truely life changing to me.

I help out with youth, and i have quite a few friends. What God has been showing me though is I am to be an example. now you're prolly thinking of course thats what he calls all of us to do! but what i wasnt realizing is the kids i see every wednesday and sunday are watching my every move. they are listening to my every word. I think others my own age and older are too. There is truth that when you have Jesus in you, there is something different in you. And the curiousity makes people watch you. not in a way to try to find a flaw, but rather to figure out what it is you have.

God has got me thinking about the people I look to. sometimes it is friends like my friend Amanda. but there are also a few ladies in the church that I look up to. I find myself listening to them and watching what they are doing. they have that special Jesus thing. I cant help but think how disappointed I would be to have one of them really started to fail and go against God's word. (i mean in a big way too, i know everyone sins...and no one is perfect)

I've gotten to know some of the girls in youth really really well and I want to keep them in my life for years to come. I want them to come to me with problems or questions if they dont feel they can talk to their parents or like no one understands. and when they come to me with questions i want to be strong enough in my life that i can use my experiences as stories of strength and truely be a role model for them. It made me think, i need to watch my words and actions so that i can be an open book to those girls without any feelings of shame.

Similarly, i need to do the same for my friends. I recently had a friend ask me to pray for her because she feels the devil is attacking her. I never thought she would ask me something like that. it was nice.

Who do you look up to? Why? Who looks up to you? Who is watching you? I think everyone has someone they are watching and someone watching them. :)

customers and customer service

i love good customer service. and even more i love watching good customers recieve that good customer service. its a big one for me. its one of the reasons i love the grocery store raleys. today i was having sushi for lunch (me and ole' JC) and there was this lady next to me and she was the best customer. you could tell she was a regular but she was so thankful for everything. every piece of sushi she got she thanked the chef and told him how great it was. it made me think that people have to work. be thankful of their talents! some people can fix computers, some can serve food with a smile, some are grocery clerks can check really speedy, or others check slower but are efficient. remember that God not only put you in your job but also put others in their jobs! be thankful that they are there. let them know that you are thankful and show them the same christmas spirit as you show people you work with and people that you go to church with, or live with! love you all!! and i love christmas!!! :)

what dinasaurs??!

sooo a lady at work today asked me a question. (and i have to add she is a fellow christian. shes not a skeptic out to prove christianity wrong or anything like that) sooo the question: why are there no dinasaurs in the bible? they did exist. we have fossils. but science tells us they were on the earth long before man right?? but God created the earth and then man and then animals right?? where are the dinasaurs?? when were they created? when did they live then? hum...

alien attack

alien to me means foreign. and attack is brut force.

i want to start by saying im ok. im just feeling attacked. How do you keep faith when you cant feel Him. How do you stay happy and focused on Jesus when the enemy wont stop attacking you? How do you know what is from God and what are the devils lies? why can i not find Jesus although i'm seeking His face?

At youth i always tell my kids that if they feel scared all they have to do is say the name of Jesus and the devil will flee at his name alone.

now i feel dead inside. although i have been singing His name, and praying, i feel that He is sooo far from me. i feel like what is the point of me seeking him. I feel like im on the losing end of the battle. at the same time i know God would not allow me to go through this if i could not handle it.

i'm just upset that the devil is able to get to me. i have had allergies for months now. i finally get an air filter for my office. i feel great for ONE day. the next day i feel like im getting sick. i fight it, feel the best i have ever felt in months the next day (friday). i thanked God for such a beautiful day and a beautiful life. later that day i pulled a muscle in my back. had to go to the ER. doctor was a jerk. wouldnt send me home because it would have workmens comp. id never had so much pain in my whole life. they doctor was going to write me a medical release but the nurse told him he couldnt since i worked here at the hospital and it was workers comp. im not too proud but when the doctor came back to tell me that i told him to go to hell. and i was going home anyways. i told him about the pain and he didnt care. it was like i was making it all up. i was sooo upset. later that night, i couldnt walk, i couldnt move. i would rather have my whole other foot tattooed rather than have to go through that again. it was the worse pain i've ever had. (although i was released to go back to work). that was crappy. i just feel like no matter where i go or what i do, theres the devils works.

Jesus i need your healing.

somethings never change

Last nite was a good youth group i think! i got excited! Moses hit on the idea that the devil comes in and tries to lurge us with biblical things, such as scripture or just really inviting things. It was thought back in the day (and ironically some things never change) that wealth and power meant blessing. if you were poor or didnt have great power in the world, you were just not as blessed, God didnt love you as much. Hebrews 13:8 " Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever". Jesus never changed. the devil hasnt changed either. His ways are still the same and his tricks are the same! so why cant we see it right away when it is the devil? the devil and Jesus are opposites so why when something happens do we sit back and think "is this from God?" When Jesus was in the desert for 40 days and 40 nites, the devil came to him and took him to the top of a mountain and had him look out on the land and he declared that if Jesus submit to him (the devil) he would give him all that land, and Jesus could rule over all of it! What a great proposition to the one that created everything that the devil was trying to give him!! it also makes me think back to when Jesus told them about the Kindom of God and how he would be their king and they were thinking that it meant Jesus was going to overthrow Cesear, and then take over the world!! Great stuff right!?? it reminded me of today. there is this guy in Florida that claims to be Jesus and claims that they are going to rule the world! YAY! but quick question: WHY IF YOU CREATED SOMETHING, IF SOMETHING WAS ALREADY YOURS WOULD YOU WANT TO RULE OVER IT??? IT IS ALREADY YOURES!! and even funnier to me is the idea of, Jesus was there at the start of the universe. He knows how the earth is put together. He knows everything about every inch of the earth. why would He get excited about owning a rock?

Thank you Jesus for watching over your children and keeping the devil at an arms length. Help us to realize his ways, and to keep him far from us.

the start of a new life together

sooo this weekend my cousin got married. she is the first of us cousins. she is the oldest and only 9 months older than me. it was a little crazy to know that she is married now. i pray that her and her husband will be happily married, there are a few skeptics of course, but i think they will be ok! :) of course i am the second oldest i was looked to as the next one to be married. hummmm yeah not for a while!! :) lol. the idea scares me too much right now! lol. ok sooo. this wedding was fansy. man was it fansy, and i realized when i do get married, i want a huge wedding. when i say huge, i dont mean fansy though. i mean a ton of people. i want to get married somewhere where there is no limit to the number of people that come. and i dont want to spend my money on the wedding. make that part cheap and quick and skip to the party!! yeah that party is the fun and important part. its where you can dance and eat and talk to people! lol. seeing family was fun and crazy at the same time. sooo much drama, but it was great seeing family i havent seen in like 10 years. my family gets sooo confusing because there are people that arent acutally related to me that i claim as family and people that are blood related to me that act like the dont know who i am. one of my real uncles never even acknowleged me or my brother, when my other uncle, that was divorced out of the family embraced my presence! we had soo much fun together! altogether it was a success. it was a picture perfect wedding and a fun reception.

on a side note, work ordered an air filter and i get it in 10 days!! also, halloween is really really close and i have no idea what im gonna be!!! help!

made by God

this weekend i went out camping for my bday weekend. it was great and i had a blast!! a little occurance happened and i realized i am really self conscience. a few of you may be thinking, what no! not debi, but atlast it is true. ive been listening to this song by barlow girl called mirror and been thinking about this idea that it is not the mirror that tells me who i am but rather Jesus in me that tells me who i am. sooo back to the lake, i woke up early this morning and went out walking around. i walked a little ways long the beach and finally found a seat at a little point. while i was sitting there i was just admiring Gods beauty. the perfect lake, trees, sand, mountains, everything. God is amazing with the landscapes he creates. while i was admiring God told me a simple thing: "I CREATED YOU". it was breath taking to hear. I saw the picture of God staring down on me and admiring me over the beautiful scenery. how great to be admired by the perfect one. i pass this story along to others who are self conscience. remember it is not the mirror that defines you it is Jesus in you. and God admires us like we admire a breath-taking sunset, or a sleeping baby.....i love you all.

and i also want to say thanks to all of you for being my church family. i consider many of you best friends and all of you family. thanks for loving me with open arms and accepting me for who i am. with out such acceptance, i would not be as strong of a christian. thank you all!! xoxoxo

God bless!!

Lord give me the strength...

...I'm feeling hatred towards people, instead of love. I am hating my job and the people here. I'm doing everything in my power to leave early today. and i wll suceed. I hate people complaining (ironically this is me complaining). I hate people who are jerks to my best friends. I hate people who are fake. I hate people that are making my good friends feel bad by judging them!! I'm hating fellow christians who are judging. I'm hating rushing everywhere. Im hating that i just cant get enough sleep at nite. Im hating waking up late for work.

Lord i give you these feelings of hate and ask you to take them away from me. Do with them what you want, i dont want them anymore!!

doctors appt!

so i gave in and im seeing the doctor tomorrow at 245. prayers please for knowledge for the doctor and pray he finds what it is. i got a lot of people aware of what is going on and my bosses are having similar symptoms so that helps. i was gonna fight and make the hospital pay for my co-pay, but today i met with my boss (about something else) and he said to make sure the hospital pays for it!!! yay no fighting! so hopefully by this time tomorrow i will be with the doctor figuring out why im dying. please pass along the message i need prayer for the doctor to figure out what it is so it will help me and hopefully others in my office too!! thanks all!! god bless!!

a blessing

i just wanted to share in how the Lord is blessing my life. i love relationships with people. The Lord has blessed me with good strong relationships lately and im soo thankful. The first is my church family. You guys rock my socks!! (hahaha, totally stole that from one of the kids, cc) You are amazing and caring and truely family to me!!

next is amanda! she is my new best friend!! and its exciting! shes just perfect for me!! we have sooo much fun together and can talk about problems and pray together. i have a lot of friends but none quiet sooo like me, and i love her!! shes amazing! i love that we can go out together dancing, have a drink together occasionally, and still share a Jesus relationship! Thank you Lord!! :)

Secondly, i have a new boy friend. hes different than anyone i've met though, and he treats me like a princess. (which is a big change, im usually just one of the boys...which i love but this is special to me!!) I prayed a lot about him, and whether we are supposed to be together or if its best to be friends. God's responce, he is a gift to me. our ideas line up very well, and he is seeking Jesus. doesnt know Jesus yet, but is seeking him! :) and hes wanting to go to chuch and bible study with me and he loves hearing the stories i have about youth group and the amazing kids that i have grown to love with all my heart!! i dont know where God will take our relationship, but im excited for it.

i wanted to share this and how loved i feel by two people who i have only known for a few months or less. Love is soooo important and i think it is important to say to those you do love. i enjoy hearing that someone loves me, because i think love is wholeheartedly. to all of you who i know and have become my family and friends i love you and in Jesus' name, i pray a blessing for your day ahead! :)

perfect and perfect timing

last nite i went to bible study at karis house and sat with her and tiffany and katy. it was great times, we learned about the power of the tongue, but along with our discussion lead us to the idea that we are perfect in God's eyes and we are right were we need to be.

we talked about envy. i think this is something we all do. not necessarily in the form of "things" or "pocessions". one of the girls brought up the idea of envying peoples opportunities or lifestyle or relationships. know we know thats not good, but why? we wanted to know the why. it says that the tongue is a 2 edged sword, we praise God with the same tongue we curse man made in God's image. the words we say come directly from our thoughts, which in turn come from our hearts. we thought about the idea of your thoughts are really words to yourself.

ok, so at the end all this will go together (i hope). another thing we talked about is that we are perfect to God. everything God creates is good, and he created us. we are perfection because we are his creation. not because of what we do or our looks, because we are his creation. Tiff had brought up the idea from the monday morning church: God gave us our little quarks as gifts. our different face expressions etc. and he smiles when we use them. he thrives in our personality.

that said, an evil tongue brings death and evil straight from hell (im not trying to be sinical, thats what the bible says). your thoughts are what drives your tongue and the heart drives the thoughts.

so envy is indeed evil thoughts that you are not good enough. when you envy, you dont get what you envy, you only get bitterness. and this is not from God. good does not come from envy. also remember you are a child of God and you are perfect in his eyes. he made you, you! and he placed you where you are for a REASON! he didnt place you in someone elses shoes, he set a path just for YOU and no one else! and good things happen to those that wait.

so basically my main idea that God has been pounding in me lately --- you are special and perfect, flawless in God's eyes. and you are in the perfect place in your life. as hard or "unfair" as it seems, it is your PERFECT place right now!

and that, ladies and gentlemen, is my ranting for the day! :)

needing prayer!!!

ok, i need some help. i need prayer for health. i dont have allergies. but at work im allergic to something! and i dont know what it is! so there is a department here at the hospital called "infection control" and they deal just with the health issues like this at the hospital and stuff. i called them and they are doing carpet samples and air samples to see what it what is wrong. i start my day with benedryl and afrin and asprin. then the benedryl takes a little to work and once it is working it makes me drowsy all day! i have to get something else that wont make me tired, but the point is i need prayer that this will be solved. right now i just hate coming to work, only to feel like im dying and sick. and i sit and fight to stay awake during work, (only taking one benedryl too but it kicks my butt!!) and its freezing today. but i have a sweatshirt and a blanket!!! :) please pray that they find out what is wrong down here. other co-workers are having the same thing so i know its not just me. i just cant work like this anymore. i wanna go home after like 15 minutes.

like a brother...

lol. i love my life. i love the love Jesus gives me everyday through others!!!

so yesterday i raced!! first race ever. i missed monday morning church and i was sad about that, but racing was a lot of fun! it was out in yerington, and just like a big family race and they welcomed me with open arms! it was barrel racing and for those that dont know it is usually done with horses. there are three barrels and you have to go around each one as fast as you can. horses do this in around 17-18 seconds. me....well my fastest time was 24. which was good though!! still faster than some guys though!! and i got a tee shirt for being the fastest girl...yeah its pink,,,and yeah its my first pink shirt and i got it from racing!! lol.

so i went with my friend mikey and his brother. mikey told me i was like a brother to him! lol. we were fighting. i lost. got my gear all dirty. when im out riding. im one of the boys, and its fun. i pray God uses me in racing.there are actually a good number of racers who are christians, but there are also alot that arent. i hope God uses me to show people who he is. (on a side note -- there is a few races that start with the national anthem and then a prayer before racing -- pretty cool)

random thoughts....

so last nite, i was just sitting and thinking...and driving....anyways: i thought it was interesting how some peoples nervous tendencies are the same as when they are really comfortable with a person....

lemme explain my random thoughts. when i get nervous (yes it does happen!!) or just uncomfortable, i start talking -- randomly too, usually incoherent talking. similarly, when i know some one really well, i talk and talk usually making no sence. if its in the middle, i dont ramble quiet as much. i thought about those people that are quiet, how they are quiet when they are nervous, and when they get super comfortable with a person they can sit in silence with that person and love it. silence for me kills me! lol.

so thats my thoughts for today.

also on a separate note: i want to sincerly thank everyone for their kindness in our church. i prayed my graditude last nite and college group, but i want everyone to know how thankful i am that we are a loving accepting church. i really believe we are a good example of a Jesus church family! love you all with all my heart!!

my happy heart!!! thank you Jesus!!!

today was amazing. it really was. i was doing the powerpoint for church and i love doing it because i get to see everyone and its great!! today church was just filled with the holy spirit!!! worship was amazing. Gods blessed me soo much in my life, i dont even know what to do but give it to others. now, let me be the first to say that im a pretty tough girl, i dont cry (even though i know i prolly will when i get my tat....but i digress) today, i cried. there are these 3 girls at church and they are amazing and sweet. i love them with all my heart i really do. well today i met mom and dad, and mom just gave me a hug and said that i was such a blessing to these girls and how highly they think of me, and just how thankful they are for me...dad hugged me and told me i was a blessing and thanks...wow. i never even thought i was touching a family in that way. it made my heart sooo joyous the tears came rollin down!! thank you Jesus for the love you have given me so i can give that away to others!!

you guys, i have to say i love our church. one of my friends has been coming lately, and he has (like many many others) been hurt in church before. tonite he told me and amanda that the first time he came he was a little nervous since he hadnt been for years, but went, and felt unbelievably welcomed! thank you Jesus. he was scared of judgement and was confronted with love! he loved louies message, and the realness of him. thank you Jesus. i really wanna say though, louie can stand up there and give the best speech in the whole world but it is still the church as a whole that really makes the impression. today another friend came with me too. she hadnt been to church in a long time too. hurt also. worship touched her heart so much she cried. (and shes tougher than me!! lol) she wanted to know more about things i do with the church. what this idea of bible study was, and it was great to tell her all about it! she'll be back soon enough and thanks to those that showed her love too. its so nice to see it. i love you all. i love that our church is a safe place overflowing with love.

well its late and i work early so i think its time for bed.... but before i do, thank you all, you are all blessings in my life and thanks for the power to give me joy. everyone of you do! In Jesus' name i pray a blessing over our church family and those we touch. In Jesus' name i pray for joy and love for the week ahead, and i thank God for all the love we have and have given away. Thank you Jesus, it is in your name i come everyday. Amen.

...at the drive in

we had a lot fun at the drive in!! it was great. just great. so i got a radio, that wouldnt work btw. and my truck wouldnt pick up the station but other trucks around us had the station just fine. it was a great nite and one of the best ive had in a while. it was a great mix of people! my friend noelle came up from gardnerville (we go way back and have a pirate history...long story) and she brought her friend tink. also, petey, jamison, matty, kari, amanda and her brother (whos name escapes me now...i prolly couldnt spell it anyhow). my friend timmie and his girl friend tamara also came along! it was fabulous. i'm gonna plan another one, and maybe plan it a little in advance so we may be able to get a bigger group (we will see if i can try to break out of my shell of randomness....and plan something a little while in advance) and popcorn is a must next time! lol.

God blesses me more than i deserve. we were talking about destiny last nite, its one of the things i struggle with. i dont like structure. i like chaos, randomness. i love it so for me to think that God has a purpose for my life and has it planned out scares me and i just plain dont like it. i realized last nite though that im just thankful that he is unique to everyones lives and he blesses me with the idea of randomness even though he knows my destiny day by day for the rest of my life.

Thanks to all those who came out. You are a blessing in my life.

In Christ

its refreshing. so im reading through the monday morning church book. i love it. today, i was reminded that there is nothing i can do to deserve God's grace. thats comforting.

over the last few weeks my patience is being tested by many people. i am very patient and hardly get mad. it takes quiet a bit. (please dont try --- lol) but i have found myself overly frustrated lately. mainly because of peoples words and actions. there have been personalities of people close to me that i hate. i hate when people use others as a crutch when it is meaningless and they can do it by themselves. they do it for the attention of others. secondly people attacking the one person i love the most here on earth. my father. for all those that dont know, i am a daddy's girl and think VERY highly of him! ahhh. ok back to my point. heres a little bit of the set up. a guy here at work said something incorrect about my father. it was just mean and completely untrue. not his place to say. so while reading the book i was reminded, we are placed where jesus would be placed. im sure Jesus's father was comdemed by people. im sure he had to be confronted with negative ideas of his heavenly father. and i can imagine how mad he could have been. but he loved them just the same. i hope that i can keep my love towards people. it is slipping.

I love you Jesus and i pray everyday that you will make me stronger and more like you.

a little ruffled

so tonite something was said to me that made me a little upset. my dad is my everything. i love him more than anyone on this earth and something was said about him. and the thing that was said (looking back on it now) was not meant to be mean, but that is how i took it. not mean, just disrespectful. lately this friend of mine has been really sarcastic, which is fine! so am i, but there gets to a point where you dont hear anything encouraging, and you can only brush off soo much. so i guess this was the straw, and i just lost it, i was heart broken and really hurt.

on another note, im not good with sharing hard feelings. so if this blog doesnt make much sense its ok. i grew up like "one of the boys" and we dont share our sad feelings right?? lol. much easier for me to write a little about them though. so along with this idea, i may have been a little harsh. --- i dont know if this is just me, but i dont care to hear that someone is sorry. i can see if the person is sorry or not by their eyes. i just want to be assured that it will not happen again --- so i told him how it felt, and how much i was really angered by this. (it takes a ton to get me angry). he appaulogized like a nice person, but i just told him i didnt want the appology i just wanted him to be aware of how i felt and for it not to happen again. (maybe a little mean on my part...)

i feel better that i got it out. ok back to work. and eventually sleep.

what is "wrong"?

i have been thinking a lot about how people are "supposed" to go about presenting God. i mean, if something i think is wrong helps one person, is it right?

i always love driving past these two particular churches in carson because of the messages outside. i remember one day, one of the churches signs said "God is coming, Repent" (or something close to that) and the other said "in Christ you are free". i like the second one. if someone doesnt know Christ they dont want to be scared into it. and even a believer that has fallen wants to hear good news. isnt that the idea of the Gospel?

but what if that first sign brings someone back to christ?

i get angry really easily by those who are preaching to people in the "wrong" way. like those people who were preaching at unr and trying to scare people. and the guy downtown that tells people why they are on their way to hell. or there was another lady in vegas that walked around with a giant sign saying "stop sinning, turn to Jesus". i consider all these bad ways to bring people to Christ.

but again....what if their message made one person pick up the bible and read it? or made one person think? or even brought one person to search after Christ?

i hate it when God is right!!!! lol

life is good and amazing!

its funny how God works. ya know, you know he knows best and all, but when you think you are right, you tend to forget he knows what he is doing! ha.

the biggest area of my life where this is true is my relationships with boys...ya know, i find a guy i think would be good for me, and i tell God, "hey there ya know, this could be a good thing", then he doesnt give it to me and shows me why. hum, i hate it when he is right..... lol!

funny too how when God wants you to do something, he keeps coming! keeps knockin until you hear the door. I like it because i get the analogy of me at home. i like noise. i love music. and if someone is knocking at my door, i may not hear it right away and how sad if they were to just leave. but not Jesus. he stays and keeps knockin til we hear him and are ready to answer it. it makes me think too of our monday morning church. Jesus doesnt shove his presence in our face, storm into our house; neither does he condemn us in His name, we need to do the same. There is this crazy guy i saw last nite downtown who likes to tell people why they are going to hell (in God's name of course). i wanted to talk to him, but it was late, and i had a group with me that wasnt interested talking to this man.

hum, ok enough for this post, love to you all