what do you want God

so i have a friend....not a good friend but a friend. and he knows the bible just doesnt live a lot of it. at all....and i have been feeling lately like i am supposed to talk to him about it. so tonite i asked God to make it completely obvious to me. and he told me to turn my music off...something that rarely happens. and this is what he shared with me.

we are the light right?? Well Jesus is the light, but we have Jesus in us, therefore we are the light to the world. ive heard analogies before but heres what God told me.

Im driving home, there are street lights spread out down the street. as few as there can be while keeping it fairly lit up. now. me driving in my own car, i have my own light. so the street lights dont do much for me. they add extra light but i dont need them. but then God made me think if i didnt have my car, i would be walking. then how thankful am i that there are a few spread out. i would have to use them to get home. what about if you live where there arent street lights. i grew up where there wasnt but we still walked home if we were at a friends, so we would walk a block or so in pitch darkness...but it was fine. a little scary at times but it was fine. a light would have been nice though....

ok. sooo heres the thing. We are the street lights. In our world i dont think there are a lot of us. but when people are walking in darkness and wanting to have that light, they will walk near the lights, they may even stop to use the light, but the lights dont move with you......some people walk in darkness and think light would be nice, but brush it off and keep walking in darkness because it is what they know and they are ok with it, even though they know that light would be good.

sooo. we are called to speak when we are called upon. what do i mean. when people ask questions, we are to speak our hearts. we are not called to turn off our light especially when there are people seeking after that light. :D

so this is what God is calling to me, for this situation. i thought i would share because i enjoyed the lesson. i want to say too, that this is just what God is speaking to be about my situation. :D

gut nacht. im tired and going to bed.

sober

sooo God has put this on my heart a lot...this is gonna be a long one, so bear with me. The dictionary on my computer says sober means "not affected by alcohol; not drunk". ive been listening to kelly clarkson's song sober...if you haven't heard it, its a good one. ok. first, my blog has nothing to do with alcoholism itself, but rather the idea of things that capture us. for some it may be alcohol but for others it can be a multitude of things from sex, to drugs, to lying, whatever your drug is, we all have ours. in kellys song she talks about how shes been sober for 3 months yet its still hard. her first line, "i dont know, this could break my heart or save me. nothing's real, until you let go completely. so here i go with all my thoughts ive been saving, so here i go with all my fears weighing on me."

There are things of this world that are not illegal but are still harmful. if you are of age it is completey ok for you to get drunk by the worlds rules. but its not healthy. This is where God came in and said dont get drunk. It is to protect us against harm. when we have something like that to give him, it doesnt make it easy once we offer it to him. its something we still struggle with. ask a girl that has been anorexic, and she will tell you that she still has a hard time with it even if she has been free from it for years. ask an alcoholic after 10+ years of being sober if it is easy. They will tell you they still struggle. We need Jesus.

back to the definition. "not affected". this is phyically not mentally. We struggle a lot with things in our heads. what is right and wrong. emotions and feelings get in the way of this a lot, and i really feel that Jesus wants to help with it. thats why He gave us his word. So we have a manual to follow. we dont always follow it, but if we are seeking truth we know where to find it. "this could break my heart or save me". a lot of our 'drugs' we cant get rid of. we feel that if we stop, we wont be complete because it is a part of us. we feel that, yeah it could save us, but what if it breaks our heart, what if it is too painful. 'once you start its just too hard to stop' right??? In Jesus we have new life. In Jesus we have his strength. Philippians 4:13 (my fav...) "I can do all things with the strength Christ gives me". not i can do all things. the bible says that God will never give us more than we can handle. (many places like 1 corinthians 10:13) but think about this. if that was the case, there wouldnt be suicide. for those people it is too much to handle. here enters Jesus. it is Jesus that can handle it. philippians 4:13 doesnt say "I can do all things." it doesnt just state that Jesus can do all things (which he can but its not my argument). but rather we can do all things with HIS strength. Jesus calls us to call on his name all the time. (Let my life be a prayer) but when things get really tough and we cant handle it we dont have to. we call on the one that can. I like to think that God will never give me something too hard. At bible study tonite, it came up that, He will give us something we cant handle. read job. but with the strength of Jesus in us. there is nothing that we cant do. BECAUSE OF JESUS. NOT OF OURSELVES. will it make it easy, no. but because of Jesus we can walk through it.

He wants to save us. He came to save us. He died to save us. He lives in us to save us.

He wants us to live life to the fullest. and a lot of times there are 'drugs' that hinder life to its fullest. I think it is time for us to 'sober' up. and place our hearts in His hand. and know that we will be saved and not heartbroken. but we have to give it all up. we have to let go completely. it will be hard. always. i think in time it gets easier, but never becomes easy. Life feels better though. and then you can walk in truth and know true freedom. not freedom by the worlds standards.

Let our lives be prayers. Let us walk in your freedom Jesus.

is marriage worth it

im single...no boyfriend or anything. but marriage is super scary. someday i really want a husband and a family. but sometimes i see people in aweful marriages and it makes me wonder if it is worth it. my friend is thinking about getting married. i see red flags like mad. things arent good now and i dont see them getting any better. I feel like shes settling. Thats one thin i dont wanna do is settle, but how to do you when its right? I know my past relationships werent right. because when i get out of them im happier than when i was in them. is it right when you are the happiest with the person? i mean there are always going to be fights im sure...but how many fights are too many. im thankful to know people in good relationships. the couple im living with right now, i see how perfect they are for eachother. but those that dont work, or where people are miserable, make me worry. I mean God gives us life to enjoy. what happens if we are stuck and cant enjoy anymore.... hummm. I've been told not to settle. and i dont think marriage should be settling. it is a blessing from God. its a gift. and you never settle on a gift...but im getting challenged by "love". the more relationships i have the more i realize i know nothing about true love between and man and a woman. hummm. so these are my thoughts. im not sad, or bitter or anything. life is the best it has ever been, these are just my ponderings. :D